. . . my own horn, but . . .

Pretty good, huh?

I'm Ryan Theriot.

Well, it's Ryan Theriot over here.

I haven't said a lot during the off season. Trying to re-connect with my family. We got a new kid and all. Pretty good, huh? 

I guess a lot of you are wondering how I feel about DeRo. I've told you guys before how gay he is for me. At first I think they were just bluffin'. But I gotta say that they weren't bluffin' now. I've even seen him in his new uniform. It doesn't look as good as his Cubs uniform did (no homo!).

Serious though, I know a lot of fans are pretty upset about the move and I am too. We got a pretty good team here this year, I'm not trying to knock 'em. But last year was pretty good, huh? Didn't think we needed to make too many changes but I'm not the guy in charge.

I'm just in charge of Ryan Theriot and all know is that if I'd been charge of setting up the Theriotites of this team, a lot of our guys would still be around.

I think the only guy who's really happy about this move is Micah. That dudes kind of gay for me too and I think he thought of DeRo as his competition. I wish they'd end this experiment and send him down to AAA. Or better yet, another team.

We're gonna play real hard for you guys this year. Try to clap for us too. We like that. It's pretty good.

I'm Ryan Theriot.

 

I just wanted to take a minute to thank all the fans out there for their support.  This is kind of a big deal for us.  We did pretty good, huh?

I heard some fans say they didn't think we were celebrating too hard. Well, we don't take a thing for granted is all.  We're happy to do this at home and be in Wrigley with all our fans. But we've got our eye on the ball and we're looking to take this whole thing home this year.

Thanks, everyone. You're pretty good fans, huh? 

I was reading my LifeJournal friend's list today and I found out via my fan site, theriotgate08, that someone on BCB is talking about this journal like it's not for real.  I'm Ryan Theriot, is all I have to say about that.

We haven't been doing too good.  DeRo needs to get his act together, I can't carry him for too much longer. 

I gotta keep this short tonight, I had a few too many High Lifes with jasonmarquis earlier. Pretty good, huh? He wants me to grow some burns.  I've been thinking about it but I think the ladies like my clean cut look. I know DeRo does, he's always checking me out. That dude is so gay for me.

I'm Ryan Theriot.

I guess you guys want to hear about the new baby. You probably know about as much as I do. Mark wanted me to play some golf with him the day my wife decided to have the baby so I had to do that. I mean, you gotta Theriotize your life, you know what I mean. Get those Therioties in order.

I did see see some pictures that Ramirez and Zambrano took when they went to visit her in the hospital.  That's the third one I made, pretty good, huh?

I guess you want to know why we lost the game too. Well, I'm not blaming DeRo but I didn't notice him getting on base, did you?  Yeah, he thinks he's so good. He's alright though, don't get me wrong. But if we lose you have to wonder if he couldn't have done more.

My Number One Fan Site is starting to confuse me. Some of those people are real nice and say real nice things about me but some of them seem a little angry. I guess maybe they are feminists. 

I got a surprise visit from Jason Marquis's wife the other night. I guess she got tired of him admiring his burns.  My wife was in the hospital so I had some free time. She stayed around and admired me for awhile.  Pretty good.

I guess you saw that some of my teammates got these Lifejournals too.  I still got more friends then them. I'm Ryan Theriot.

A lot of the media folks were real upset about DeRo not making the AST.  I let him have his day because every day is Ryan Theriot Day but they never did come around and ask me how I felt about my snub.

That's all right though, I know sometimes it's just hard for folks to talk about things that don't make any sense.  Plus I think probably almost all of the AL fans were going in and voting for other NL guys because they didn't want to face me.  I don't blame them.  Sometimes I can't even face me, and I'm Ryan Theriot.

I planned a party with all my friends and I even invited DeRo but I guess I must have written the address down wrong because no one showed up. It's alright though because I got a lot of hot wings over here and I can really put some hot wings away. 

I'm really hoping the NL can put this game away.  When we make it to the WS it's going to be hard enough covering for DeRo all day.  It'd be pretty good if we had HFA.

A lot of you LifeJournal people added me. That's pretty good.  I'm hoping you all can really get a chance to get to know me a lot better. 

Well I've been waiting for months now to get my login and password for my MLB blog but I can't seem to get their customer service department to write me back. I keep asking Mark for help but he just laughs at me.  Sometimes that dude really cheeses me off.

Tonight as I was completing my nightly self-googling I discovered there's a pretty neat fansite dedicated to me here.  I figured since it was free I'd go ahead and sign up for an account.  I'm only making an embarrassing $428,000 this year. That might sound like a lot but if you consider that nitwit DeRosa is making more than 10x that amount that should put it into perspective. You'd think he could pick up a check  once in awhile!!!

Speaking of Mark DeRosa, that dude is so gay for me.  I don't blame him (that's me in my user pic there, pretty good, huh?). I just wish he would admit it because when we're out drinking and I tell people how gay he is for me he always makes me look like an idiot.

The proof is all around me though.

The other day we were driving to Taco Bell after the game (I drove and he didn't chip in on gas at all, cheap bastard) and Lucky Star came on, you know by Madonna?  I was listening to the lyrics while Mark sang along to the song. I have to say, I really think he realized how much that song describes me. 

I asked him about it and he got quiet for awhile. Pretty good proof there.

In case you don't know it, here's the lyrics. Let me know what you think.